Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

2 Stars (out of 4)

Failing Blade

By Jeffrey M. Anderson

This Netflix original film is the ninth in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series, and, like many other "requels," it erases the lore of the middle seven films and posits itself as a direct sequel to the original. That's a pretty ambitious goal, but unfortunately, ambition is something that this Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the title drops the "The") does not have. We have the obligatory scene in which Leatherface (Mark Burnham) escapes, followed by the dumb city slickers who head into the small Texas town, looking to gentrify the place. Two of them are chefs, apparently (I think?), although we never see any cooking. They are Melody (Sarah Yarkin) and Dante (Jacob Latimore), Melody's sister Lila (Elsie Fisher) and Dante's girlfriend Ruth (Nell Hudson). These geniuses arrange for a busload of potential investors to arrive just as Leatherface's killing spree begins. Then, as in many other "requels," the hero of the original, Sally (played by Olwen Fouere, as Marilyn Burns passed away back in 2013), now a badass monster-hunter. I had been hoping to turn off my brain and enjoy this, but the more it goes on, the dumber and more aggravating it gets. (John Larroquette, who launched his career as the narrator of the original film, narrates again here.)