Sordid Lives (2001)

2 Stars (out of 4)

Stagnant Waters

By Jeffrey M. Anderson

Del Shores' Sordid Lives begins in a most John Waters-like fashion. The first shot even contains a lovely bit of Waters-esque casting: Olivia Newton-John comes on strong as a leathery, white trash backwater bar singer who sticks her gum on the mike stand before belting out a deliciously naughty song.

The fun continues for a little while as we visit the home of Sissy (Beth Grant), who wears an immobile beehive hairdo, fusses and frets over the Southern heat, squawks on the phone, and snaps a rubber band on her wrist to keep from wanting to smoke. A neighbor brings her a casserole and we begin to suspect that someone has died. Sissy's niece Latrelle (Bonnie Bedelia) arrives and the plot begins to unfold. G.W. (Beau Bridges) had an extramarital affair with the dead woman, Latrelle's mother and Sissy's sister. Meanwhile, Latrelle's brother "Brother Boy" (Leslie Jordan), a drag queen who likes to dress up as Tammy Wynette, is stuck in an insane asylum. And Latrelle's son (Kirk Geiger) is a gay L.A. actor who can't seem to come out to his parents.

I was howling at the first ten or fifteen minutes at these silly people, who look like they might live next door to the characters from John Waters' Pink Flamingos. And Shores cleverly allows the humor to stand on its own without immediately giving away the entire plot. But as the plot and the characters' personalities pull slowly into focus, Shores expects us to suddenly shift from laughing to feeling their pain. Long scenes full of heartfelt talks take place between characters, and it's increasingly dreary.

Sordid Lives makes one appreciate how fearless and unappreciated Waters really is. He's confident enough in his films (like Hairspray and Cecil B. DeMented) to let his characters be their own foul, horrible selves, knowing that, if we're interested, we'll meet them on their own ground. By pleading and begging and coaxing us to love the characters in Sordid Lives, Shores only guarantees our indifference and disgust.

One major, amazingly stupid plot turn in Sordid Lives concerns G.W.'s wife (Delta Burke), who confronts him over his affair with the dead woman. She and LaVonda DuPree (Ann Walker) burst in brandishing firearms, shouting, "We've just watched Thelma and Louise and we're p--d off!" The whole scene takes place with G.W. and two other men held at gunpoint, and we're supposed to believe that this scene was inspired by an afternoon video rental. It's just about the weakest character motivation I've ever seen in any movie.

It's hard to decide if a comedy that starts well and suddenly dives like a five-gallon bag of ketchup out of a hot-air balloon is better or worse than a comedy that's just mediocre from start to finish (like The Animal), where you sit blank-faced and glaze-eyed all the way through. Though I laughed like a hyena for the first ten or fifteen minutes of Sordid Lives, the discomfort and boredom I felt for the final 80 minutes really wasn't worth the trip.

I can't even recommend Sordid Lives to Olivia Newton-John fans. Though she's very funny, their blonde goddess does nothing but perform her little song, walk through a couple scenes, then reprise the same song (not funny the second time) at the end. If Shores had someone as full of pop-culture value as Olivia Newton-John in his movie and couldn't find more screen time for her, then he's not worthy of comparison with John Waters, or anyone else.