Combustible Celluloid
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With: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea, Kelly Vitz, Artie Baxter, Lori Lively, Bruce Glover, Erica Hubbard, Blake Lively, Daniella Monet, Bart Johnson, Kelly Blatz
Written by: William Dear
Directed by: William Dear
MPAA Rating: R for bloody horror violence and gore, drug use, language and brief sexuality/nudity
Running Time: 90
Date: 09/24/2006

Simon Says (2006)

2 Stars (out of 4)


By Jeffrey M. Anderson

The idea of Crispin Glover playing creepy twins in a horror film -- especially after his brilliant turn in Willard (2003) -- is irresistible. Sadly, it's all too easy to resist this final product, which follows yet another band of stupid teens into the woods for an ill-advised camping trip. Once again, this particular collection of protagonists represent a cross-section of personalities, but there's no connection between them; we have no idea why they would ever hang out together. William Dear wastes a lot of time developing the backstory of the twins, and Glover speaks in such a thick swamp drawl that you can barely understand him. The movie's only inspiration comes in the death scenes, which occur via lots of pointy objects that detach via trip wires, then swing through the trees and slam into their prey. Producer Ernie Lively cast three of his kids, including rising star Blake Lively (The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and TV's "Gossip Girl"). Unfortunately, the DVD box features her as one of the film's stars, but she only appears in the final five minutes of the film. Many viewers probably won't make it that far. Lionsgate released the DVD in 2009 with a director's commentary track and other extras.

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