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With: Jade Pettyjohn, JoJo Siwa, Jennifer Ens, Justin Derickson, Ali Fumiko Whitney, Julian Haig, Michaella Russell, Cardi Wong, Jack Doupe-Smith
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Written by: Josh Sims, Jessica Sarah Flaum, based on a story by John Baldecchi
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Directed by: Marcus Dunstan
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MPAA Rating: NR
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Running Time: 92
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Date: 08/02/2024
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#AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead (2024)
Seven Fails
By Jeffrey M. Anderson
Marcus Dunstan slasher movie #AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead is about as dumb as they come, with irritating characters, stolen ideas, awful visual effects, and — despite its title — virtually nothing to say about the state of social media.
It has been twenty years since the slaying of several teens on their way to the KarmaPalooza festival. Sarah (Jade Pettyjohn) has been pestered by her friends to join them to the new 2024 festival. They are Mona (Jennifer Ens), Will (Justin Derickson), Liv (Ali Fumiko Whitney), L.B. (Julian Haig), and Guy (Jack Doupe-Smith). Their seventh friend, Aaron (Cardi Wong), works in a drug store and will be coming later, presumably with stolen drugs.
Their van has a flat tire, and Sarah finds them an Airbnb to stay in for the night until it can be fixed. They find shot glasses labeled with the Seven Deadly Sins, and they realize that each of them perfectly fits one of the sins. It's not long, though, before a mysterious killer begins attacking them and killing them according to their particular sin. Who is behind this murderous rampage?
After a twitchy prologue, which is more confusing than anything, #AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead begins with a group of friends — none of whom have much in common with the others and don't seem anything at all like real friends — climb into a van. When they get to the murder house and divide up the Seven Deadly Sin shot glasses, the movie's major flaw becomes clear: they have been created to match each of the sins so that they can serve the plot, which prevents them from becoming actual characters. (Some of them border on flat-out offensive.)
From there, the only amusement is predicting which of them will be next on the killer's list, all in the knowledge that, of course, Sarah will be last. But the movie keeps on going, with a handful of final "twists," some of which involve the only other humans that appear in the movie aside from the seven obnoxious partygoers, and few of which actually add up. If David Fincher's Seven is the high water mark for this kind of thing, then #AMFAD: All My Friends Are Dead ranks somewhere around minus seven.
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